A fleeting life. In memory of my dog..

"Everything in life is impermanent".

There are times I need to be reminded of that because I tend to forget. I guess most of us do. Regardless of how many times I have recited this verse from James 4:14, I still find myself staring into space when things go wrong, " Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."  I know I'm still in the process of rebuilding my depleted faith, but it would be a shame to backpedal now. I won't. I know things happen for a reason. Life changes everyday. One day you're in perfect bliss then the next day you need somebody to console you. Yesterday, I was basking in enormous joy when I learned the results of my core biopsy-- no indication or sign of cancer. Best news ever! I was obsessing over chemotherapy, metastasis, mastectomy and death for weeks and it was ridiculous! I could have ended up in the mad house had I not clung to God when I was about to lose it. I let myself get sucked into the vortex of my worries, and negative situations that don't exist yet. I was so caught up with myself that I almost overlooked the significance of other people and things that are dear to me. Like my dog that was struggling to live back home. While yesterday was filled with insurmountable happiness, today is the farthest thing from it.

It's the way of life-- there's a pattern how God balances things out but I could be wrong. Some people say God only wants good things to happen to you. While prayers are powerful and can create a miracle, there is always an inevitable time when we have to make a painful concession and just let go. It's embracing God's will. I got a call from my father this morning with an extremely sad news, our family dog has just died. I knew it was a matter of time since she had been sickly the past couple of months while I was battling my own health issues. I thought she would pull through because she had survived several illnesses before. I really didn't expect she wouldn't come around this time. Suddenly every bit of exhuberance I had in me the day before faded away so quickly. Just like a passing cloud. I was an emotional wreck this morning. I had to brave myself to open the computer and to look for my dog's old pictures so I could recall how she used to be. I'm deeply heartbroken I wasn't there today when she passed. I don't know what made me think she'd be there forever, that she'd always be waiting eagerly in the front yard doing all those crazy things everytime I come home from the airport. I'm still trying to process the fact that I will never see her dancing in circles again whenever I'm about to feed her. For 9 years she was my baby. I'm going to miss every tiny sound she used to make, her bark, yelp, even her footsteps.

They say getting a new dog will help you heal. That pets come and go. And I understand it was her time. But no matter how many dogs I will cuddle or get to play fetch with in this lifetime, she will always be my most favorite one.

Goodbye buddy... -_-

she's back!

I'm on again!

Geez, how long has it been? Oh, it's been 5 months since my last post I don't know what happened, my brain just went completely blank. Today, something nudged me to start writing again. A little inspiration is all it takes. Yeah. ;)

I've been out and about for the past few months. As you know, I returned to my hometown in January and spent 3 months living there with my parents, mainly watching after my mother. When I got back to SG in April, we had to look for a new apartment as we opted not to renew our house contract. For 4 years we had survived the most unbelievable landlords in the universe. Ahhh, it's so liberating to have finally moved into a new home!

I miss the peacefulness of Avenue 1 though. The lovely landscape and all the greenery along the road. Since we live near a train station, people are rushing around all the time. While there is a nice and cozy hawker centre close by that caters to all ethnic groups, my only minor anguish among other things is that they don't have a stall that sells a uniquely delicious prawn ramen like the one I used to have in Avenue 1. Our new place also got a little farther away from the town library, and that whenever I need a burger fix, I will have to take the bus to my favourite fast food joint. Oh no! :(

Here's a couple of pictures of our new neighborhood..

"look at the stars...look how they shine for you."

This is a super delayed blog post but I have to share it because it's about something memorable to me.

First, I must admit that I was never a fan or a viewer of Singapore Idol. Mainly because the show is such a drag (spare me for the honesty.) However, I wasn't aware that a half-Pinay contestant had successfully made it to Top 2 not until a few days prior to the finale so I started scouring Youtube for her videos. I must say that she did outshine her rivals without a doubt. She's indeed a breath of fresh air! But the competition's finale result prompted a lot of disputes throughout the island. People flashed fire on forums, blogs, twitter, facebook, and newspapers. They claimed that the talent show is clearly racist due to the fact that for three consecutive seasons, another Malay guy snagged the crown. And just a few nights ago, Blog TV of Channel News Asia decided to tackle the issue since the controversies that surround it wouldn't subside. Unfortunately, the televised discussion were only able to provide vague answers to the perplexed majority.

So for the nth time, why did Sylvia Ratonel lose when she obviously embodies the total package to be a pop star? I will never understand the circumstance myself. I just remember that my jaw was down to the floor on the night when the winner's name was announced. Then I found myself throwing expletives at the TV out of fury and disappointment.

I wanted to hug and console the girl. My heart went out to her that night.

But it's time to leave the sad stuffs behind. As a fellow Pinay and a supporter, knowing how determined, passionate and talented she is, I know she will eventually get her huge start in the music industry.

Anyways, on the 2nd and 3rd of January, Sylvia threw a meet and greet party at one of the chalets at Goldkist, East Coast. Since we've become Facebook buddies recently, I decided to come down to show my support.

Here's one of our photos together.

Cheers to 2010!

Happy New Year folks!

It's been a long while, I'm back again with some bits and pieces about the recent holidays. I have enormous hopes for the new year. I'm sure every one of us do. With regard to my resolutions, the most important one for me is to have a broader outlook especially in accepting the things that I cannot change. I'll try to refrain myself from being too idealistic, that even if certain things don't turn out the way I want them, I'll just let it slide and not fret over it too much. I shyly admit that often times I act like an uptight librarian. :(

Anyway, I saw on TV the other night that 2010 is a lucky year for those who were born under the water sign (I'm a scorpio). Although I'm not a believer in astrology, the horoscope forecast sounds very promising. Well, we can only hope for the best.

So how did my holidays go? Spending Christmas away from home for the first time was bleak. I'm very accustomed to celebrating the special day in my home country where people are jolly and upbeat, lights and lanterns blinking on almost every porch, the smell of delectable food, and the insanely busy streets. Here in SG, you only get to see yuletide decorations when you go to shopping malls and business centers. And your neighbors never celebrate Christmas.

While I was preparing a simple dinner on Christmas eve, I heard a choir singing from a distance. I'm not sure where the sound was exactly coming from, but it was from one of the neighboring buildings. They were singing The First Noel, I walked toward the window and listened earnestly. Suddenly I felt a mixture of sadness and joy. For the first time in many years, I had come to grandly appreciate a very common Christmas hymn. And it was utterly nice to know that there were Christians nearby celebrating along with us.

On the eve of New Year, my hubby and I went to Marina Square and enjoyed a swell buffet dinner. Since the meal is extravagantly priced per person (that's why we don't do it often), we had to load up our plates as much as we could. Haha! I opted not to touch the dumplings, dimsums, noodles and all the stuff I eat frequently and instead gravitated more toward the seafood and salad section. :D

I don't know how I was able to shove all these food down to my tummy! Probably because I hardly ate my lunch that day. It was woman vs. food, literally! :-D

Here are the memories of the Pariss dinner........

i'm ok in case you're wondering..

Right after my birthday 4 weeks ago, I started having this chronic neck pain which hindered me not only from doing anything labor intensive, but also diminished my simple physical activities like playing the piano. I would like to think that this could be a predestined sign of aging. :(

Because the pain isn't going away and it doesn't feel like an ordinary stiff neck at all, I decided to consult a doctor last week. I was advised to have the cervical spine X-ray immediately. After 2 days, the clinic contacted me to come down for the result. The report read: "Mild osteophytic lippings of the vertebral bodies suggest degeneration." Other than that everything is normal. The doctor explained that bone degeneration is unavoidable as you get older although he kept saying that I'm still young. He recommends neck exercise and frequent exposure in the morning sunshine (for vitamin A). I'm not so sure if I can do the latter. My body is still usually immersed in dreamy slumber during that particular time of day. I'll try my best though. ^,^

However, although my neck still bugs me, I managed to spend some quality time in the kitchen in pursuit of my current infatuation -- fresh pasta making. Instead of buying chinese noodles, I made myself productive by rolling out pasta dough by hand and then cutting up into thin noodle strands. Unlike my other pastas in the past, this dish has no tomatoes, herbs or cream. This is equally tasty.

To all my avid lurkers, here's a very filling meal for you all! Stir fried pasta. c",)

...and may i have many, many more food to eat!

As always, I had a low-key birthday celebration yesterday. A very close friend hinted a few days before that she would come over regardless, so I felt compelled to prepare a decent afternoon meal at least. @_@

Since I've broken the mystery behind fresh pasta making just last week, I decided to show off my skills a little more so I opted for lasagna-- from scratch! It took me hours to assemble the whole thing, from creating the pasta dough into thin wide sheets by merely using the rolling pin.

I was in the verge of panicking, worried that I might not get it all done on time. I was multi-tasking to the fullest, in every sense of the word! While allowing the pasta dough to relax, I rapidly assembled the dessert which is crema de fruta (though my version is quite different). I also made a thick crust pizza with bacon, beef and mozzarella which I figured would match perfectly with the lasagna. Whew! Considering I only had three guests to feed (which include my hubby and housemate) it was a back-breaking preparation! I know I could have saved myself a huge amount of time and energy by ordering pizza and grabbing a box of store-bought pasta instead of opting for the complicated. At the end of the day, despite the body cramps here and there, the sense of fulfillment never fails to outweigh the pain. ^_^

hang in there!

Lethargy.

At last I've come out of it. I've been feeling unusually lethargic for the past couple of weeks that it took me a while to visit my dashboard. I don't know if I should blame the gloomy weather but I know that I've got to burn those millions of calories I have carelessly consumed during those moments of idleness.

Three tubs of chocolate ice cream, few bags of caramel popcorn, home made pizzas, corn chips, cadbury picnics, and the list goes on. 0_0

As I probably need some sunshine to pep me up, I went for a walk late this morning. On my way back, I stopped by at the grocery store to grab a loaf of bread, I spotted some fresh big flower crabs and they looked so enticing I couldn't resist I ended up buying a pair. I had a wicked lunch. Ahhh....it could have been avoided.

Anyways, a good friend of mine who recently got a job in Alberta Canada has been requesting me to update my blog more frequently. She's feeling extremely homesick at the moment and needs something to "amuse" herself when she gets home from work. I believe that the freezing cold adds up to her misery. Hey buddy, don't lose heart and make hasty decisions without contemplating. There are so many people back in our native land who are dying to experience the same opportunity as you did. Did I ever tell you that I've always dreamed of wearing trendy winter coats and frolicking in the snow! Give it some time...you'll be fine. :-D

Here's a bowl of piping hot noodle soup to keep you warm in the biting cold. It's called Prawn Mee and this is my home made version. This is very popular in Singapore, one of my favorite hawker food.

Hope this helps! ^_^